What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What one thing makes someone a very mature person?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Make Nazis afraid again!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

What can be done to combat group stalking and harassment by an organized gang or society, particularly when they use universal sound weapons?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Do very hot men ever feel attracted to an ugly woman? Why?

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Why do some people tell the girl I like that I don’t like her when I do like her?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Can you name a female actress who has had bad timing or luck in her film career?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Should any books be banned from school libraries? Why is it important for students to read certain books in school?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What is one thing you've learned from life?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

TEXT:

How will the article end in Part III of Gleissner's hit piece?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why does monistat lose effectiveness over time for individuals with chronic or recurrent vaginosis or yeast infections?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.